Everyone has different feelings about money. Some people like to save, some people like to spend, and some simply enjoy earning as much of it as possible.

But what do you do when you meet someone and start sharing a life with them? How will that affect your approach to money? After all, it isn’t just you that you need to think about any more. As one half of a partnership - regardless of whether you are married, in a civil partnership or just

A lot will depend on whether your separate attitudes towards cash are the same or not. If they are, then you will find that talking about money and what to do with it is quite easy. But many couples cite money as one of the main things they disagree about, so there is clearly a lot of work to be done in some relationships!

The best thing to do is to make sure that everything is kept out in the open. The worst thing you can do is to assume that your partner thinks the same way you do without finding out whether that is actually the case, which can lead to all kinds of problems.

One key area you should definitely discuss is bank accounts. It’s important to recognise that there is no right or wrong answer here when you are deciding how to manage your finances. Some couples manage perfectly well keeping separate accounts, while others couldn’t imagine not sharing one.

The key to making sure that money doesn’t come between you is to be honest, open and willing to discuss everything that comes up. Money is so often seen as a battleground between couples, and it has certainly been the main ingredient in many a break up.

But it doesn’t need to be that way. In the end, no one else is going to have exactly the same opinions about money as you do. That means that your partner will need to get to know your ways of dealing with it, just as you will get to know theirs. This can be a very enjoyable experience if you concentrate on the task at hand and work to find the best solution for you both.

Once you have discussed your needs and desires, you have some practical work to do. You may want to open a joint account or a vantage current account for example. Once you have taken care of the practical requirements, you can get on with forging ahead together and preparing for your future by discussing things as and when they come up.

As with most things in life, there are also pluses and minuses to double dating. So, to help you decide if you would like to double date, let’s cover some of these pros and cons.

Good reasons to double date:

• Safety: If this is a first date and you don’t really know the person well, then it might be good to set up a double date with a friend and their date that you know and trust.
• Conversation: It is sometimes easier to keep conversation flowing when there are more people involved.
• Transportation: If you or your date doesn’t have a car, then hook up with another couple that can provide some transportation.
• Save on expenses: Two couples could share the cost of gasoline. If you are going out of town, for say a football game, the girls and guys could share the expense of a hotel room.
• Best Friends: Best friends just do everything together, including dating.
• Enjoy Company: Some couples just enjoy each other’s company and enjoy doing things together.
• See spouse outside of the home: If you are married then it is good to get out with friends on a double date so you can see your spouse outside the sometimes struggle of building a life together.
• No children: If one couple has children and the other does not, then it is nice for the couple with children to be able to chat with others about something besides children.
• Your parents will allow you to date: Often times parents will consider letting their child date at an early age if it is a double date.

Reasons not to double date:

• Differences: Each couples likes and dislikes may be so different that it hard to really find things to do that everyone will enjoy.
• Uncomfortable: If one couple wants to do something that the other couple really feels is not right or unethical you might feel obligated to go along when you would not otherwise participate.
• Privacy: If you are not double dating you will at least have some private time together. You can discuss thoughts and share feelings that you don’t really care for the whole world to know.
• Loss of your date: You might find that your date likes the person from the other couple best and you will lose your date for good to someone else.

Double dates can be fun and everyone should at least try it a few times. If you have one bad experience don’t let that be your only experience. If you haven’t tried double dating, then give it a whirl.

You are at a place where you want something more from your relationship. You feel disconnected or almost repelled by the one you chose to be with. You wonder how you got into this place and how to get out of it. You feel trapped and frustrated because you don’t know where to start or what to change. You wish that you hadn’t said what you said the other day. You wish that you didn’t have certain thoughts. You wish that you didn’t feel so guilty. You wonder if this is all your life will be. You wonder if there is someone else out there that might meet your high expectations. You wonder if you are being realistic. You are exhausted during the day from dealing with it and thinking about it. You find it hard to focus at work. You feel like you are wasting your time in this relationship and missing out on something better.

Give it a reason.

In order to motivate your relationship, you’ll want to give it a reason to move forward and get better. If you want a more meaningful relationship, ask yourself why? It might seem like a ridiculous question with an obvious answer, but really think about it. Is it because you want to feel good? Or is it because you want to enjoy your life? Is it because you have already invested so much time into it already? Is it because you don’t want to start over again? Do you think that it is has ruined every other aspect of your life? Do you believe that with a more meaningful relationship you’ll have a more meaningful life? After you have identified the reason, you’ll want to give it some value.

Give it some value.

Are you worth it? Do you have good qualities? Do you like yourself? If you don’t think you are worth anything, then why should the relationship bother to get any better. If you have become stagnant in your life, your relationship will follow suit. Are you relying on your relationship to qualify your life? If you can answer yes to any of these questions then you’ll want to take a deep look inside and determine who you are before going to the next step.

Laurie had been concerned with her marriage and felt it spiraling downward. Early on, she felt good about what they had, but then gradually it just came down to a stale, boring relationship. She wasn’t interested in him and he didn’t show any interest in her. She was starting to doubt herself and the choices she made. After a few weeks of working with her, she realized why she wanted to make things better and how much she deserved it. Then she took control of the situation and things started to get better.

Have a vision.

When you try to encourage a friend to get into shape you tell her that she’ll look great in those tight jeans again. You tell her that she’ll feel great and energized from working out. You try to get her to imagine how she’ll feel in the outcome. Try this approach with your relationship. Identify how good the relationship can be. You’ll be able to enjoy time with your mate. You’ll want to spend time with your mate. You’ll laugh and giggle together. You’ll have fun doing new things. You’ll understand each other and accept each other’s differences. You’ll find the attraction and romance again. If you can’t imagine how your relationship could be, then you might have not truly addressed the first two steps correctly.

Now, lead by example.

It’s amazing how people will follow and admire someone that shows confidence and feels good about herself. If someone shows high self-esteem, and love for herself, it isn’t hard for others to want to follow her around. Think of some of the people that you are attracted to and admire. Don’t they fit that description? You don’t find yourself admiring someone that complains or shows little self-respect. This is the same way your mate reacts to you. Why would he/she want to improve something if it’s not worth improving. So feel good and do things for yourself. Once again, if you can’t feel this way, you may need to go back and identify how much you are worth. It’s not an easy task and most often requires someone to guide you along.

Sit back and watch.

You’ll be amazed at how things will mysteriously change without you trying to make them change. By focusing on yourself, your relationship will have no choice but to move along with you. For review, here are the steps you took:

• You have given your relationship a reason to move forward
• You have provided value as an incentive
• You have provided a vision so your relationship knows where to go
• You have become a leader that your mate can follow

You have just taken control of your life and your relationship. Enjoy it.

Tall, dark and handsome.

This age old definition of what women want from men has lost a lot of its meaning with regard to serious relationships these days. What women are really looking for in men has evolved with the advances in society. Women are no longer the subservient partners to men, but are now co-equals in every sense of the word. With these changes is an altered concept of the ideal man. Well, manhood has taken on a different meaning, and all men, yes all you guys out there, have got to be aware of what women nowadays seek in men for long term relationships.

There is no standard formula, however, in the manner of the tall, dark and handsome tradition. Today, it is rather a mix of many different qualities. Sometimes, women differ in taste, though there are a few good qualities that every man should have, even just in small quantities, for them to be considered good candidates for a long and lasting relationship.

- Capacity to Provide Security

First and foremost, women are concerned whether a man can provide for the family. This primordial concern is probably a remnant of the ancient tradition of men going out to hunt for food for the whole brood.

At present, many would take this to mean that women go for rich men. In truth, women just don’t look at the present capacity, but also at the potential to earn. Men don’t have to be rich, but they have to be rich in the likelihood of attaining a degree of security that women are comfortable with.

- Respect for Women

Despite the evolution of the female’s role in today’s society, women still expect to be treated with respect. This not only refers to the “ladies first” policy, but flows out to their need to be recognized as men’s equal. Thus, they would like to have men open doors for them, and at the same time, have them listen to their ideas and opinions. In a sense, the world today is tougher on the males, and better for the females.

- Thoughtfulness

Women easily get carried away by thoughtfulness. Simple acts such as thoughtful reminders, gifts on ordinary occasions, and of course, a little chivalry now and then, seem to pierce through the heart. Again, for women who are on the lookout for a permanent partnership, the instinct to be taken cared of remains uppermost in making their choices.

- Maturity/Responsibility

Ever wonder why “older is better,” or what makes mature men more attractive than young boys? It is the air of maturity and responsibility. Majority of women are not just looking for one night stand, or mere flings, but are out to get hitched in what they hope would be a lasting relationship. The presumption is that they would not always be able to stick it out with a young man still striving to build his fortune. Security comes with maturity, which is more attainable with the older, more established men.

- Confidence

The man who looks like he can take on the world and still come out a winner, with just a little hint of arrogance is a great come-on for women. Most people are drawn to the confident man, just like moths to a flame. Being sure of himself, he would always be considered a good choice to take care of everything, including a family.

- Looks

Many think that women are not as concerned about looks as men. To a large extent, this is true. But it helps if a man looks like Orlando Bloom, or Johnny Depp. On the flipside, sometimes women keep away from the too good looking guys, as they are likely to be in for stiff competition. There is this certain fear in the perception that handsome men are also prone to infidelity. Thus, good looks can work both ways in long term affairs.

Be it as it may, there is no one definite mix of qualities that women find attractive in men. There would always be the “x” factor; that one indescribable feeling that would set aside all preconceived notions about what makes men or women attractive; all for that one magic moment of one soul mate finding its partner in that rare meeting of individuals meant for what is now the elusive “eternal love.” In this instance, nothing else matters, but male and female, entwined in a love meant to last a lifetime.

Typically relationships have casual beginnings. It may start with a first look in which your eyes meet and you feel a sense of connection. That is the initial feeling of attraction. In most cases we will need a little time to determine if the attraction is real. This may only be a matter of minutes or even seconds but nonetheless our minds need time to access the situation.

Next you have a face-to-face interaction. This provides an opportunity to find out how it feels to be around the new person and if the conversations flow. If all goes well the attraction will deepen and you will begin thinking more and more about him or her.

This is the time that you should begin building a friendship. Take time to learn all you can about the person. Capitalize on the things you have in common. Use those things as ways to create bonds and fun times together.

If it has not already happened it is likely that you will begin to feel lust for this person. By lust I am referring to the desire for a physical relationship. You think about how their arms feel around you and how wonderful their kisses are. You may spend time daydreaming about your intimate encounters.

Next you discover that you are in love with the person. You may wonder when exactly the feelings moved from friendship and admiration to that of love and desire. In reality this can all happen very, very quickly or it can take what seems to be a long period of time.

Regardless, you have discovered that you want this person in your life forever. Your skin tingles at their touch and you are ready for the commitment. You find your new partner attractive in ways that you never imagined possible before. This attraction goes much deeper than physical appearances.

Suddenly you are freely using the word love and talking about long-term plans. You will probably by now be spending nights and even weekends together. This ‘practice’ time together is beneficial in lots of ways. Of course there is the obvious fact that you have the time together, but even more importantly you have an opportunity to see how well you get along for extended periods of time.

You get to see what it is like to sleep with that person and wake up next to them. You will see them at their best and at their worst. This is an important component in determining if a long-term relationship with this person is right for you.

The next step for many couples is that of moving in together. Again, this can be an important step to a life-long commitment. It gives you the opportunity to try the waters out before you consider marriage.

Although you will find bumps in the road along the way if your relationship is a solid one you will discover that the bumps only strengthen your commitment to one another. The friendship that is the foundation of your relationship will carry you through those difficult times and you will come out on the other side holding one another’s hands.